My Weight Loss Journey

Weigh In - four weeks

2011-11-12T10:25:00.000-05:00

So we were told in the beginning that weeks 3-4 would probably be the lowest weight loss numbers we had as your body was adjusting to the diet plan and the exercise routines.

I am working out four days at week at the gym.
Tuesday at 9am I do Core Cardio Blast, which is a tabatas class.
Wednesday at 5pm I do High Heat, which is a high-intensity class.
Thursday at noon I do Interval Express, which is a tabatas, high-intensity mix class.
Friday at 9am I do Jacob's Relay, which is actually a tabatas class, but we also take turns on the Jacobs ladder, which I have a love-hate relationship with. I love the workout that it gives me, but the machine is so hard that I hate it.

Results of this two weeks was another 1/2 inch off my waist and 2.5% body fat lost.

The thing is that every class is still a huge effort and I get a great workout, but I am doing better each and every class, which is a big thing. I am in better shape physically, even if I am not losing the weight yet.

Weigh In - two weeks

2011-10-31T13:32:00.000-04:00

So I mentioned that I started BootCamp at NextGeneration, www.wemeltyou.org and so Saturday was two weeks in and I had a weigh in.

After two weeks of hard workouts, and a nutritional plan that was hard/easy to follow. Some parts were hard (no cheese) and others were easy (no soda).

At weigh in, my results were that I lost 8 pounds and 3 inches from my waist.

Wonderful!

Now that I am entering weeks 3 and 4, until my next weigh in, the number of cardio minutes that i need to get in has increased to a minimum of 300 minutes, and the nutritional plan has changed a little, less carbs.

i am looking forward to the next few weeks.

BootCamp

2011-10-17T11:52:00.000-04:00

Over the past year, I have watched some people I know, friends and acquaintances work on their own personal weight loss journeys, and find success. Why can't I find that same success? I really took a hard look at me, the fact that I get discouraged very easily, have trouble sticking to any diet plan very long, and just have the tendency to skip out, when given the chance. So knowing my own issues, I talked to the people who were succeeding, and they said.... Next Generation.

So what does that mean, well, here in town there is a fitness center, if you want to call it that called Next Generation, and the owner is also a client. He went through the program and has continued to keep the weight off, and he has shared it with others. The general manager is a client, and just recently hit the 170 lbs lost mark! Everyone involved in the organization has already went through the program and you see the results on a daily basis.

What does it involve? Well, first coaches and accountability. When you join a BootCamp, you are assigned a Nutrition Coach and a Cardio Coach. You get detailed instructions on the menu plan and the exercise plan. Then you are accountable to email your nutrition coach each and every day with what you ate and when! You have an exercise log, and you are required to email it to your cardio coach once a week.

Last night was orientation, and two people talked to us. One was the general manager, who started this program a little over 18 months ago, and has now lost 170 lbs. The second person to talk to us was a guy who started 12 weeks ago, and lost 55 lbs. He was so fired up because of the drastic changes he has seen in other things like his cholestrol and blood sugar numbers.

You know, for a long time I told myself that I was ok because my blood sugar was in check, my cholestrol was fine and if I really needed to lose weight those would be problems. What a joke. The idea that my cholestrol is fine doesn't mean that I am not fat, I am. I am morbidly obese...that means that I am at least a hundred pounds over what is recommended for my height. Yes, I just admitted that on a public blog! But you know what, if I don't admit it, how am I ever going to fix it!?!

The greatest thing about starting this BootCamp, was that when I walked into orientation last night, I wasn't the only one there that looked like me! I wasn't the one fat person in a class full of skinny exercise "freaks". That had always been an issue. I don't care where you go to work out, but every place I went, I always felt like the lone fat girl in a room full of skinny people. That didn't happen last night, and to see people the same size or larger than myself made me feel at home.

Weigh-in was on Saturday, and I had my famous "before" pictures taken. Haven't seen them, and really don't want to, but I promise to share when I get to the end, or whenever they show me the pictures. Today was my first workout class and I started the menu, so I am on my way. Join me on the journey to a new me, a me that is confident and happy and wants to enjoy the world with my family!

Feeling off

2011-09-29T14:58:00.000-04:00

So I am still feeling a bit off, not like myself. This time I am not sure that doing anything with or making any changes to my medications will make any difference. And if we want to be really honest here, I don't think I have been feeling like myself since before the surgery!

Is it a mid-life crisis? How should I know?! I've never had one before but nothing feels normal, not even every day life feels like it should. Am I depressed, yea, but is it because I don't feel right or is it causing me not to feel right. Not sure, and it really feels to be a chicken or the egg kind of question at the moment, not sure which came first but it is not helping.

I have been looking at some ideas, things I have toyed with for years but never did anything about and I think it is time to do something about them, to focus one what I want to do for a bit.

Lose weight. Check. That is the one thing I been trying to do since I gained weight during all those fertility treatments. I have to focus on it, and I am not sure that I can do it myself.

Hard Headed Men

2011-09-27T10:07:00.001-04:00

Why do men have to be so hard-headed? I have spent the last 45 minutes on the phone yelling with my Dad over this damn divorce! On Saturday, we got a note that she had filed for a continuance. This has been going on for far too long. She filed way back in May, and they were suppose to have a (hopefully) final hearing on Monday October 3rd.

So I talked to our attorney and he said that since the continuance was made on the fact that she JUST now hired a lawyer on the 22nd of September. Now she is the one that filed the original petition for divorce way back in May, and we hired an attorney the week before, which is quick for a lawyer to go to court, but I have worked my butt off to get him all the information that he needs and we are ready to go on the 3rd, that the judge will most likely grant the continuance.

Dad is pissed. He hates that she is dragging this out so long, it has been 122 days since she filled for the divorce, and she has been fooling around with her boyfriend, and living at the house doing whatever what she wants and he is just working and sleeping and his doing nothing. He is upset. It's not fair that she is living the high life waiting on this divorce and he is at home worrying about the divorce.

The other thing that is pissing him off is that he is not out at the house with the horses, and he worries about them, about if she is taking care of them or not or what is going on. He is also worried that she might be over there selling off everything of his that is out there. Although there is no real reason that he can't go out there and get his stuff, she is there and he doesn't want to see her or be around her. She is always picking on him and was always trying to get him into a fight, pushing as hard as she could to make him hit her, but he never did.

I don't know what to do. Should I go out there by the house and check on the horses? Should I take him out there are get some of his stuff or should we just wait out this divorce? What can i do to make sure this goes well, because I am sure it is not going to be over once the divorce is final because of the mortgage and loan that they have, but she has already agreed to keep paying, she wants the hose anyway, and Dad just wants his name off them. It's not going to happen easily, and that is probably going to hang over his head for a long time.

The problem is that he is just getting so mad and angry and that he isn't listening to reason. He is pissed about the continuance, and he thinks she is playing games with him, and this is all just to make it longer and make it harder on him. It's not actually, it's just because she hired a a lawyer right before court.

It really stresses me out talking to him and having to yell at him to get him to quite going off on her and to listen to what i am saying. I am ready for this all to be over, but i know that it is not going to be for a long time, ever after the divorce is final,

Divorce Stress

2011-09-26T09:26:00.000-04:00

I've been married for a little over 18 years now, dated my husband for 4 years before that, so we have been together 22 years! That's a long time. But right now we are struggling with the stress of a divorce, and it's not even ours, it's my dad's fourth one.

Back in June he called to tell me that his current wife had filled for divorce and that although he was still staying out at the house with her, things were bad. She had a new boyfriend that she was sneaking into town to stay with all weekend, and expecting him to take care of the horses and the house. So I started going down and picking him up for the weekend and bring him to our house.

She filled for the divorce on May 25th, and they elected to go into mediation instead of hiring attorneys. Their first court appointment was July 6th, and although not much went on, they basically turned in a list of what each party wanted to the mediator and went home, they got in an argument on the drive home, basically because Dad was pissed off that she came into court covered in hickeys from her boyfriend. he kicked him out of the car an mad him walk home, this is a 63 year old man, not in the best of health in the heat of July! He called me and I came and picked him up, and he has not been back out to "her" house since.

Their second court appearance before the mediator took place on August 31st, and although they were called in few minutes before their original court time, by 3 minutes past court time they were done. She refused to look at or agree to any of the options that my Dad presented so the mediator told them it would have to go to court! Talk about being mad!

We called around that day and got an appointment with an attorney and we talked it through, there really isn't much to the whole thing, in fact there are no kids, just a house with a mortgage, a personal loan and some farm equipment, most of which came from my grandparents when they passed away and then the horses. So the attorney said this should be pretty simple and pretty fast. Saturday w get a letter in the mail stating that she had retained and attorney and that he had filled for a continuance. NO! We had purposely not notified her that we had retained an attorney yet to keep her for getting scared and filing for a continuance. There is really not that much to divide.

So this morning I called the attorney to let him know and see if there was anything we could actively do to try to get the continuance not granted. I mean, we only hired our attorney a week before she hired hers and she is the one who originally filed the petition, so she should already have everything she needed worked out. right?

I am so stressed out over this, and it is making my Dad mad and stressed, and it worries me that this is the kind of thing that might make him fall off the wagon again, and this is NOT the time for that to happen, but there is a part of me that is thinking she is pushing just to see if she can't get him to fall of the wagon, just to say see, he's not fit. But then again they don't have kids so it's just the horses they are dividing, but she wants EVERYTHING, and according to her since Indiana is a No Fault divorce state that means that she gets everything! NOT! She just better be glad that Indiana is a no fault divorce state because I am sure she doesn't want my Dad trotting out her boyfriend that got fired for hiring in and working on under someone else's name, or the fact that he has since left her to go back to a pregnant girlfriend and she has another boyfriend already.

Push me too hard and I can get pissy! This is just a bunch of garbage. The only reason she wants a continuance is so that she can continue to live her life with the comforts of all the equipment that Dad would gt in the divorce, or to cover up the fact that she is out there selling off all of Dad's stuff! How do we stop this? How do we get things going and get this were it needs to be? i am just so angry!

The Journey...

2011-09-24T21:14:00.000-04:00

As I work on my journey towards a normal life again after a total hysteroctomy, I keep finding that no matter what I do, something doesn't feel right. That I feel like i am living in someone else's body.

Then it hits me, I am not writing! Well, for the longest time I couldn't even think, let alone write for a long time. Finally I am starting to dream in stories again, and that tells me that the time to write again has come.

But where. I have three blogs. The one I have been using for my book reviews and things associated with the books, and there is a part of me that doesn't want to mix this in with that. But I still want to keep that one for writing and for books. The original blog, that I started with the things I was creating, I still want to keep for that, as a business blog, in case i ever make it back into that life where I am able and wanting to build a business again. So that leaves this blog, and the last blog. I said that I wanted to keep the newest blog for my books and writing, but the writing I meant was poems and books chapters and that type of writing.

What about this more journal writing, the stuff that I write to keep my head on straight, to focus me and to help me feel like myself? Well, the more I thought about it the more I felt it needed to go here, on the journey blog. It may not specifically be about my weight loss, but it is part of my journey in life and where I am going, and hopefully it will lead to some weight loss. So this is the place to put the writing about life, about emotions, about stress, you know the journal writing.

Ok. So now I know where to put this and I am ready to go. So I have started and I am ready to move on, to get my life back and that is what I am working on doing.

Return again...Wednesday

2010-06-02T11:42:00.002-04:00

As ever, I am once again on this journey, and this time I am again feeling the need to keep a log of how it is going to keep me on track.

Weigh in: 233.5
The problem is that I can never get below 231. I will yo-yo etween 231 of a low and 255 as an all-time high, normally more towards 241. I will bounce between that ten-pound range but I can never break that 230 barrier. That is the most frustrating thing about it all!

Breakfast:
Slimfast meal bar - 200 calaroies

Yes, I have decided to use the Slimfast plan to help me stay on track right now. I have a number of friends who have used it and gotten wonderful results. I started to have a shake this morning, but after three drinks I just couldn't handle the taste anymore. I think it needs to be much colder than I got it today. But I hope to use the shakes, the bars and the snacks, then a balanced meal, to get me down to where I feel better and then w;; see what happens next.

Have I revised my goals? Not at this point. I think I need to do that and make much smaller steps for myself, but I am just going to work on following the plan and blogging about it for this next week, and then I will ease into more and more with it.

Toxic Tuesday

2009-12-29T12:59:00.002-05:00

Not really sure what to title this post, but Toxic Tuesday sounds pretty good at the moment.

Got up this morning and made French Toast for the kids, and I did well not to eat the leftovers!

Wii Fit: Did 15 minutes of Yoga, then some Rythm boxing, Hula Hoop and a long bike. Totaled 45 minutes so far today.

Want to get back on later today, need to break it up because of the kids in the house and trying to control them, but at least I am working on it.

Now, on to more "Boxing Day"....we are cleaning out closets and drawers and getting rid of old stuff to make room for the new...

Wii Fit Plus

2009-12-28T10:15:00.001-05:00

Brad's Christmas present to me this year was the Wii Fit Plus Balance Board. I had been wanting it, and also the Biggest Loser program, but at least I got the board.

I was sick all night Christmas Eve, so I wasn't up to using it on Christmas Day, but Brad and the kids all registered and played and had a blast.

Saturday was my first day on it and I did just over an hour.
Sunday I did 40 minutes.

This morning I got up before the kids and did 45 minutes, 5 miles on the bike ride, some hula hoop and some yoga (which is harder than you might think it looks to be). I hope to get another 45 minutes later today, but the kids got up and breakfast needed to be made.

As always, another new start for me, but I keep going, I keep trying. I never seem to get anywhere, but I keep at it.

Tuesday Morning

2009-07-28T08:59:00.002-04:00

Good morning, and welcome to Tuesday.

So I went ahead and got up early, while the kids were still in bed (and are still in bed, although that routine is going to have to change with the approaching start of school!), and did 15 minutes on my Gazelle. Yes, I know that is not alot, but I am just starting out, and so my plan is to start a couple days at 15 minutes, then increase the time and stay there a couple day, then increase and so on. At least I have 15 minutes of exercise in already this morning, and I am hoping to do another 15 before bed tonight.

I am eating my breakfast, a cup of Yoplait Lowfat yogurt, Pina Colada flavor, only 170 calories. It's not my favorite flavor, but I do like it, and it is a pretty good breakfast. I am all out of flax seed, or I would add that to it. It adds alot of fiber and helps it to last until lunch on the tummy. In other words I don't get as hungry as quickly if I add the flax seed. Will have to remember to get more while I am out today.

Not sure when I will weigh in, but I need to do that soon. Need to get a new starting point, and to know were I am going, but I have just been avoiding that. I know you all can relate!

Just another start?

2009-07-27T18:59:00.000-04:00

How long has it been since I posted here?

Well, in my own defense, I switched jobs and that took me away from the computer, and I did do better at this journey then, but I have found time to be back at the computer, but not to the blog. So again, I will begin.

Searched Craigslist for weeks, and finally found a Tony Little Gazelle machine. Had been wanting one for years since I saw them on tv and saw Tony Little demostrating them. So I found one, and bought it, but it is not like the one I remember from tv, but I am going to use it! Espically since I bought it! And I have got to get my money's worth out of it or I am going to be in so much trouble with hubby!

To that end, I am going to begin blogging on my journey again, to keep me accountable to what I am doing.

Monday June 9th - Another New Start

2008-06-09T08:54:00.000-04:00

Well, here I am, back again after a long abscense, but life intrupted my best laid plans, and that is the hardest part. I get so busy that counting points and watching what I am eating gets pushed aside.

Breakfast:
6oz WW Amaretto Cheescake Yogurt w/flax seed - 1.5 points
12 oz diet big red

I'm still here....I think

2008-03-13T11:14:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so you all noticed that I disappeared, did you?!?

Sorry about that. This whole weight loss thing is so hard for me, and the fact that I had been workign so long and only lost six pounds was wearing on me, so I have taken a few weeks off. I know...

But, I will be back to making my Saturday morning WW meetings with two of the gals from church that I am friends with....

I am going to be back to working on my diet....

And....hubby gave me a few month a Curves....so I am going to be starting that up. I have to get the exercise going, although the thought oh having to go somewhere to do it is what I hate.....if I could just find one of those Tony Little Gazelle exercise machines for home....

BloggerWave - New Company

2008-02-26T10:34:00.000-05:00

bloggerwave

So your like me, you have taken the time to put your thoughts and feelings, your ideas and opinons down into a blog. What do you do with it now? How do you get people to read it?

One thing you can do is to use your blog to get paid. Yep, you read that right, you can get paid to blog about a variety of topics. Doesn't that sound like fun?

The newest company in this vein is BloggerWave. They are based out of Europe, but are open to bloggers all over. Their goal is to be the biggest advertising on blogs in Europe! Great goal, and what does that mean to you? Well, the bigger they grow the more chances to blog about more things for those that are working with them. So if you sign up for BloggerWave now, while they are still growing, you get in on the ground floor and grow your blog while they grow, which all means more for you! What have you got to lose, give them a try!

Friday Log

2008-02-22T09:11:00.000-05:00

It's Friday, finally!
My kids are out of school today, a little snow and a little ice here, not what I would think of enough to let them out of school, but then again...

Breakfast:
WW Amaretto Cheesecake Yogurt - 1 point
Flax Seed - .5 points
Diet Big Red - 0 points

Thursday Log

2008-02-21T10:06:00.000-05:00

It's Thursday, can everyone cheer! YEAH! The week is almost over!

Breakfast:
Sweet Tea - 5 points
Bacon, Egg and Cheese biscuit - 12 points

**YIKES! I can't believe I just ate that many points! I was running late to work, didn't grab my regular breakfast and so I grabbed McDonlad's on the way to work! Now I am wishing that I hadn't. All I can think is that I am skipping lunch! UGH! I feel so sick now that I realize how many points I just consumed! WOW! Who would have thought that something that small would pack so many points.

Wednesday Log

2008-02-20T10:13:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Wednesday! The middle of the week, and what used to be weigh-in day. I have switched to the Saturday morning WW meeting, so weigh-in has now switched to Saturday morning! Yeah! I actually switched because there are some friends that go to that meeting, and this holds me even more accountable.

Breakfast:
WW Amaretto Cheesecake Yogurt - 1 point
Flax Seed - .5 points
Diet Cherry Pepsi - 0 points

Snack:
100 calorie snack pack - peanut butter crisps - 2 points
16.9 oz water - 0 points

Lunch:
Michelina Budget - Ziti - 5 points

Snack:
16.9 oz water - 0 points

Dinner:
scrambled egg with cheddar cheese
toast - 2 slices
unsweeted ice tea

Tuesday Log

2008-02-19T08:53:00.000-05:00

Good Morning!

Breakfast:
WW amaretto cheescake yogurt - 1 point
flax seed - .5 points
diet big red - 0 points

Monday Food Log

2008-02-18T10:38:00.000-05:00

It's been a crazy weekend, so busy and then I wasn't feeling all that great yesterday...but I am ready to get back on track today!

Breakfast:
WW Amaratto Cheesecake Yogurt - 1 point
Flax Seed - .5 points
Diet Big Red - 0 points

Lunch:
Michelina's Budge Gourmet Ziti - 5 points
16.9 oz bottle of water - 0 points
WW Carrot Snack Cake - 1 point

**working on a second bottle of water! Depending on what you read, recommendations are for at least 48 ozs of water a day, to half your body weight (that is, if you weigh 200lbs, you are suppose to drink 100ozs of water)...anyway, I have really got to start getting my water intake up if I want to do anything better than a measily one pound a week.

At work:
16.9 oz bottle of water - 0 points

Early Evening:
16.9 oz bottle of water - 0 points

**that makes THREE bottles of water today!! for a total of 50.7 ozs! Not bad!!

Thursday Food Log

2008-02-14T11:36:00.000-05:00

Breakfast:
1 bag of carmel bugles
20oz diet big red
** i don't know the points yet, I have to go to weight watchers and check into it. not a good breakfast I know, but I had to take 2 gallons of milk to the school for a Valentine's party so I was running late to work today.

Wedneday Food Log

2008-02-13T13:07:00.000-05:00

Well, its Wednesday already and I should have meeting tonight, but I am working the College Basketball game for our church tonight, so I can't make meeting. Just found out that a friend is doing the saturday morning meetings, and hubby suggested that I switch and go with her, which I am surprised about, I didn't think he would want me to go Saturday morning, so I just may do that.

Breakfast:
WW Key Lime Pie yogurt - 1 point
Flax seed - .5 points
Diet Big Red - 0 point

Snack at work:
WW Carrot Cake snack cake - 1 point
Diet Big Red - 0 points
** not that I was really hungry, but so much going on and trying to deal with it and work is getting busy, so that is why I snacked, not because I was hungry.

Lunch:
cheeseburger with tomato, and pickle from Wendy's - 7 points

I worked the concession stand at the basketball game tonight with the gals from church, so I didn't get to eat a real meal, but I did have my meal from there.

Dinner:
Polish Dog with relish

Food Log for Tuesday

2008-02-12T10:12:00.000-05:00

Well, tax season has started in full force, which means that I am busy, busy, busy at work! Sorry I missed yesterday, but I never got the chance to get online.

Breakfast:
WW Boston Cream Pie Yogurt - 1 point
Flax Seed - .5 points
Diet Big Red - 0 points
** total points - 1.5 points**

You know, it may be a low point breakfast, but the extra fiber in the flax seed really helps me to feel full and I don't get hungry before lunch time this way. It's all about the fiber! Want a breakfast that stays with you until lunch so that you don't snack, bulk up the fiber! Fiber makes you feel full!! It's amazing what just two little teaspoons of fiber will do!

Well, I didn't eat lunch because I had to take my oldest to the doctor for his yearly. I hate this, but the doctor's office won't schedule well-checks in the late afternoon, they save those appointments for the sick kids. So I have to pull him out of school to make the appointment. I think they have it backwards, they should schedule the late appointments for well-checks, and the daytime appointments for sick kids because if the kid is sick they aren't in school anyway!

Lunch/Dinner:
McDonald's hamburger - 7 points
Sweet Tea - 5 points
**total - 12 points**

Late Dinner:
1 bowl of chili - homemade with ground turkey - 5 points
1 piece cornbread - made with flax seed added - 2 points
** total - 7 points**

Daily total - 20.5 points

Thursday Food Log

2008-02-07T08:37:00.000-05:00

Well, at weigh in last night I was actually down another pound, so that was a surprise! I wasn't sure.

Breakfast:
WW Strawberry Yogurt - 1 point
Flax seed - .5 points
Diet Big Red - 0 points
**total - 1.5 points**

I think I have got my breakfast down to a manageable thing. This small 2 point breakfast is great. It fills me up and lasts till lunch and I feel good about what I am eating. Now I just have to get lunch and dinner in line, mostly lunch, because alot of times we are so busy that I don't really eat dinner.

Wednesday Food Log

2008-02-06T09:35:00.000-05:00

Yep, it's Wednesday again. I should have weighed in this morning, but didn't get a chance. Will update you all after weigh in at meeting tonight!

Breakfast:
WW Key Lime Pie Yogurt - 1 point
2 tsp Flax Seed - .5 points
20oz Diet Big Red - 0 points
**total points - 1.5 points**

Tuesday Food Log

2008-02-05T08:28:00.000-05:00

Woke up to no power this morning, so I have a feeling it is going to be a bad day....

Breakfast:
WW Amaretto Cheesecake yogurt - 1 point
2 tsp flax seed - .5 points
20 oz diet big red - 0 points
8 bottle cap candies - 1 point
**total - 2.5 points**

Lunch:
SUbway Turkey and Ham on Honey oat with tomato, pickle and cucumber - 5 points
Baked Lays - 2 points
Diet Coke - 0 points
**total points 7 points**
**daily total - 9.5 points**

Snack:
Subway peanut butter cookie - 5 points

Monday February 4th Food Log

2008-02-04T09:21:00.000-05:00

So I weighed myself this morning because I snacked during the SuperBowl, and I am pleased to say that I have maintained my weight, didn't gain during the SuperBowl.

Breakfast:
WW Amaretto Cheesecake Yogurt - 1 point
2 tsp Flax Seed - .5 points
20 oz Diet Big Red - 0 points
**total points - 1.5 points**

Snack:
WW Lemon Cake - 1 point

Lunch:
Michelina's Lasanga - 6 points
16.9 oz bottle of water - 0 points
**total lunch points - 6 points**
**daily total - 8.5 points**

Dinner:
2 whole wheat english muffins - 2 points
1 tbsp peanut butter - 4 points
ice tea - 2 points
potato chips - 2 points
**total points -8 points**
**daily total - 16.5 points**

Friday Food Log

2008-02-01T09:05:00.000-05:00

It's Friday, another long work week is done, and the weekend is calling.

Running late this morning, we decided to take my MIL's car in to get an oil change and check the tires, so I had to met Brad there and then he dropped me off at work, so I didn't have a chance to get any breakfast, so I had to eat what I had stashed on my desk.

Breakfast:
1 can of Diet Coke - 0 points
1 Peanut Butter Cookie (left over from Subway yesterday) - 5 points
**total - 5 points**

Thursday Food Log

2008-01-31T08:41:00.000-05:00

Well, I weighed in at meeting last night, and it was another 2 pound lose, so I am feeling a little better, but talking with a friend yesterday made me face the fact that if i don't change that morning McDonald's habit, i am never going to get anywhere.
Then last night at meeting, one of the things they gave us was some cupons for Weight Watchers foods....so I stopped by the Super Wal-Mart (since it is the only place I have found that carries the weight watchers foods) and picked up a few things.
Another thing I am going to go ahead and do is list my point totals here too. I am currently allowed 30 points a day, so I figured if I listthe point values here that it will help keep me honest on my eating.

Breakfast:
6oz WW Amaretto Cheesecake yogurt (1 point)
2 tsp Flax seed (mixed in yogurt) (.5 point)
12oz can of Diet Coke (gotta have my morning caffeine) (0 points)
**point total 1.5**

Morning Snack:
WW Lemon Snack cake (1 point)
16.9 oz bottle of water (0 points)

Lunch:
Subway Turkey & Ham, 6 inch on honey oat, with tomato, pickle and cucumber (5 points)
Baked lays sour cream and onion chips (2 points)
Peanut Butter Cookies -2 (10.5 points)
16 oz Diet Coke (0 points)
**point total for lunch 17.5**

Current Point total for today....20 points. That leave 10 points for dinner tonight! Yeah! Not bad even if I did "cheat" and have those peanut butter cookies.

Wednesday Food Log

2008-01-30T08:46:00.000-05:00

Another week has come and gone. Well, yes I weighed in this morning....down to 252. Slowly, very slowly it is moving! I wish it would move faster, but for that to happen, I have to get a lot strichter about the diet and more exercise.

Breakfast:
Sweet Tea
Bacon, Egg and Cheese McGriddle

At work this morning:
16.9 oz bottle of water

Lunch:
6 inch Subway Ham on honey oat bread with tomato, pickle, cucumber and onion.
baked lay's potato chips
16 oz diet coke

Tuesday's Food Log

2008-01-29T09:21:00.000-05:00

Good morning Tuesday! I am not feeling all that well today. My throat is sore, my tummy is upset and all I want to do is go back to bed, but work calls...

Morning:
1 cup of skim milk
JuicePlus Caps

At work:
1 can Diet Dr Pepper

Lunch:
Michelina's lasagana - 280 calories
16.9 oz water

***how I chocked down lunch is a mystery! My throat is so sore and it is so hard to sallow! Help! I just wanna go home and sleep, but we have Cub Scouts and Basketball Practice tonight! UGH, not even time to get sick! ***

Monday Food Log

2008-01-28T14:06:00.000-05:00

Another week, another chance.

Breakfast:
Sweet Tea
2 English Muffins, plain with strawberry jam

Snack:
100 Calorie pack cookie crisps

Lunch:
WW Ziti
can of Big Red

After Work-Before Browine Meeting Snack:
whole wheat english muffin with peanut butter

Dinner:
unsweeted tea
lean pocket - chicken

Friday Food Log

2008-01-25T10:23:00.001-05:00

Well, you know I have decided you deserve more than just a running food log, so I am putting more comments and thoughs into the food log. Reason being that I need the food log to keep me accountable, and you need something more to read.

Breakfast:
Sweet Tea
Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit

Yeah, I know, but I went into work early today, and I was hungry! have to run errands on lunch. Meeting Brad at the bank, so I doubt I will get much if anythign for lunch. Need to eat something but I need to keep it in line...

Food Log for Thursday

2008-01-24T09:47:00.000-05:00

So I have been having a little pity party for myself all night, since I only dropped one pound this week! Man! That makes me so mad, but then again I only have myself to blame!!
Going grocery shopping tonight, chicken is on sale for $0.69/lb at Marsh, so you know we will be stocking up!!

Breakfast:
20 oz Dr. Pepper (left over from last night)

At work this morning:
16.9 oz bottle of water

Lunch:
Fazoli's small ziti
diet coke

*** why I keep stopping at fazoli's I will never know. Everytime I stop, I say I am not stopping again because it never fails, abotu the time I make it back to the office, I am feeling sick to my stomach. Yet, I keep stopping thinking it might be better this time! I need to just stop! No more Fazoli's!! Period, end of story! ***

Wednesday the 23rd

2008-01-23T09:06:00.001-05:00

It's Wednesday so that means it's weigh in time, and the number is.....255, bummer!!
I don't have to look too much to know exactly what the problem is! Too much sweet tea and regular soda, not enough water! I have gotta kick that or it is never going to work!

Breakfast:
JuicePlus caps
sweet tea
bacon, egg and cheese mcgriddle
fruit and walnut salad

Lunch:
WW Honey Dijon Chicken with rice - 4 points (only ate the chicken)
100 calorie packs of peanut butter crisps

Food Log for Tuesday the 22nd

2008-01-22T10:57:00.000-05:00

So are you getting tired of my food logs yet? I think I am getting tired of writing them, but then again, I know if I don't do it, it will be easier for me to cheat and I will never get anywhere.

Breakfast at work:
32ox sweet tea
bacon, egg and cheese mcgriddle

Snack:
WW Carrot Cake snack

Lunch:
WW Ziti
100 calorie pack bag of peanut butter crisps
can of big red

Snack:
100 calorie pack of cookie crisps

Dinner:
1/2 cup skim milk
1/2 cup rice
apple slices
mandrain oranges
green beans
mediteran blend veggies (artichoke, peas, tomatos, beans)

Late nite snack:
2 piece wheat toast

Food Log for Monday, the 21st - Martin Luther King Jr Day

2008-01-21T14:06:00.000-05:00

It's Martin Luther King Jr Day, please take a moment to remember....

Early Morning:
1 glass of skim milk
JuicePlus Caps

At Work:
WW Snack Cake - carrot (only 1 point)
1 can Big Red

Lunch:
Wendy's Jr Cheeseburger
Fries
Diet Dr Pepper

At Work:
WW Snack cake - carrot
1 can big red

Food Log for Friday!

2008-01-18T10:35:00.000-05:00

Early Morning:
JuicePlus caps

Breakfast:
Sweet Tea
Sausage, Egg and Cheese McGriddle

Food Log for Thursday, 17th of January

2008-01-17T09:34:00.000-05:00

Early Morning:
JuicePlus Caps
Diet Rite Red Raspberry soda, 1/2 can

Breakfast at work:
32 oz Sweet Tea
Fruit and Walnut salad
English Muffin

Lunch:
Smart Ones Ziti
Big Red
WW Carrot Snack Cake

Evening:
16.9 oz bottle of water

Dinner:
Whole wheat english muffin
tuna salad
diet coke Plus

Late Night:
JuicePlus caps

Technorati

2008-01-16T14:12:00.000-05:00

Since I know that I am not the only person struggling with this weight loss thing, i have been looking into ways to get more traffic to the blog, so that I can at least share my struggles and maybe encourage someone else.

Technorati Profile

I was given this link and we will just have to see if it works.

Thanks for being patient with me on this sidebar!

Food Log for Wed the 16th

2008-01-16T09:10:00.000-05:00

*** Weigh in today.....at home this am 256, that is down 2 pounds.....***

Early Morning:
JuicePlus Caps
Diet Rite Red Raspberry soda, 1/2 can

Breakfast:
32 oz Sweet Tea
Bacon, Egg and CHeese biscuit

Lunch:
Michelina's Fried Chicken meal - 290 calories
1 can Big Red

At Work:
16.9 oz bottle of water
100 calorie pack of peanut butter crisps

Evening:
1 whole wheat english muffin
1/2 cup tuna salad
1/3 cup cottage cheese
1 can Diet Coke Plus

**weigh in at WW....agreeed with my morning weigh in, down 2 pounds!!***

Food Log for Tuesday the 15th

2008-01-15T09:00:00.000-05:00

Early Morning:
JuicePlus Caps - one of each

Breakfast:
32 oz Sweet Tea
Bacon, egg and cheese biscuit

Lunch:
Wendy's Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger with tomato, pickle and mayo
Wendy's fries
Dr Pepper

Dinner:
1/2 cup cottage cheese
1/4 cup pasta
Diet Coke Plus

Late Nite:
JuicePlus caps

Food Log for Monday the 14th

2008-01-14T12:14:00.000-05:00

**Just a note that you probably will not see updates over the weekend on here. Just because it is so hard to get on the computer with the kids home over the weekends. I did stick to my WeightWatchers Points plan over the weekend, and even worked out a shopping list with Brad's help, so thing went well. I will be weighing in and changing the ticker on Wednesday mornings, since I have meeting on Wednesday nights, so that way I will keep both my home weigh-in (which runs my ticker) and my WW weigh-in on the same day.***

Early Morning:
JuicePlus Caps - one of each of the three

Breakfast:
32 oz sweet tea
2 english muffins
1 scrambled egg

Snack at work:
100 calorie pack of chips ahoy thin crisps

Lunch:
Michelina's Lasagna - 280 calories
16.9 ozs water

Evening:
1 can Diet Coke Plus

Late Nite:
1 can Diet Coke Plus
JuicePlus Caps - one of each

***yes, before you ask, I did not get all my points in yesterday. I had Brownie's at 5:30, Leader Meeting at 6:30 and it was 8:30 before I got home, so I just never had the chance to eat my dinner, and by the time I got home, I wasn't hungry anymore and I didn't want to eat and go straight to bed, so I just didn't have dinner. I only skipped about 6 points for the day, so I still came close to what I was suppose to eat.

Food log for the 11th - Firday

2008-01-11T09:02:00.000-05:00

Early Morning:
JuicePlus Caps (one of each, Garden, Orchid & Vineyard)

Breakfast:
1 can Diet Big Red
1 100 calorie pack of Peanut Butter Crisps

Food Log - 10th

2008-01-10T08:48:00.000-05:00

Early Morning:
1 JuicePlus Garden Blend Cap
1 JuicePlus Orchid Blend Cap
1 JuicePlus Vineyard Blend Cap

Breakfast:
1 whole wheat english muffin
1 tbsp peanut butter
1 can Diet Rite Red Raspberry Soda

Work:
1 can of Big Red
1 can of Big Red

Lunch:
3 Meatballs at Fazoli's
1/2 of a small serving of penne
6 breadsticks
16 ozs of water

Dinner:
2 whole grain English Muffins, toasted
1/2 cup tuna salad
10 baby carrots, raw
1 can Diet Big Red

Late Nite:
1 can Diet BIg Red

Weight Watchers Meeting

2008-01-10T08:47:00.000-05:00

So, I went to my first ever Weight Watchers Meeting.

It was pretty good. I like the support and tips for gaining back control and I think it might be what I need to give this a good try this time around.

Food Log for Wednesday the 9th

2008-01-09T09:32:00.000-05:00

Early Morning:
1 JuicePlus Orchid Blend Cap
1 JuicePlus Garden Blend Cap
1 JuicePlus Vineyard Blend Cap

Breakfast:
32 oz Sweet Tea
2 english muffins
1 scrambled egg

Lunch:
Michelina's Chili Mac - 320 calories
1/8 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 can Diet Big Red

After Work:
1 can Diet Big Red

Dinner:
32 oz sweet tea
Quarter Pounder with Cheese

Late Night:
WW Mini Peanut Butter Bar
JuicePlus Caps - one of each

Food Log for Tuesday the 8th

2008-01-08T09:35:00.000-05:00

Morning:
1 JuicePlus Orchid Blend Cap
1 JuicePlus Garden Blend Cap
1 JuicePlus Vieyard Blend Cap

Breakfast:
32 oz Sweet Tea
Fruit and Walnut Salad

Lunch:
Michelina's Chicken breast with mashed potatoes and gravy - 280 calories
12 oz can of Big Red

Dinner:
1/4 cup macaroni and cheese
1/4 cup green beans
1 cup pears
1/2 cup carrots
1/4 cup chicken corn chowder
12 oz can of Diet Big Red

Late Night:
1 tbsp peanut butter
1 diet big red
JuicePlus Caps - one of each

Food Log for Monday the 7th

2008-01-07T11:54:00.000-05:00

Food Log for Monday:

Early morning:
JuicePlus Orchid Blend capsule
JuicePlus Garden Blend capsule
JuicePlus Vineyard Blend capsule

Breakfast:
32 oz Sweet Tea from McDonald's
Fruit and Walnut snack from McDonald's
2 ProVactin Capsules

Lunch:
Michelina's Lasanga - 280 calories
2 ProVactin Capsules
1 Can Big Red - 150 calories (we were out of diet in the office)

Dinner:
1 Can Diet Big Red
1 cup steamed veggies (broccoli, snap peas, carrots, water chestnuts)
1/2 cup chunk pineapple
1/4 cup mandrian orange segments
1/4 cup spagetthi with sauce

Late Nite:
1 JuicePlus Orchid Blend capsule
1 JuicePlus Garden Blend capsule
1 JuicePlus Vineyard Blend capsule

New Year, New Resolve

2008-01-07T11:46:00.000-05:00

It's a New Year, and only five months before I turn 40.
I am not happy where I am right now, and the idea of 40 looming ahead of me is not promising, so I have a new reslove to make a change!
It starts now, and it will include various means, including my faith and daily devotionals, which I will continue to share, as well as Weight Watchers and whatever else I find I need to continue.

I haven't joined Weight Watchers yet, but will be doing that today, but that doesn't mean I can't start.
UPDATE: I joined Weight Watchers at lunch, while I was eating my lasanga. There is a local meeting at 6:30pm on Wednesday, which I think I can work into my schedule to make every week. So this coming Wednesday will be my first meeting and "official" start date, but I am working on setting up all my information online and it gives me a target point goal as 30. Now I just have to figure out those points!

I am also taking JuicePlus capsules, which a couple of good friends have recommended, not for weight loss, but for general health.
www.juiceplus.com/+eb34103 is the website and I really like it. I am just hoping with it that I can improve my general feeling, I am so tired all the time, and I know that I don't get the fruits and veggies that I really need.

Another thing, over the years I have bought and started taking all these different diet supplements, and I am sick of them all over the place, so I decided to just take them and get rid of them. If they help me to jump start the weight loss, great. So, you might notice a number of different caspules being listed, but the only ones that will continue on are the JuicePlus, the rest are just me finishing off whatever bottles I have around the house and office.

November 12th - Thought for the Day

2007-11-16T11:05:00.000-05:00

We must look to God for approval and acceptance and not to people. If God does not have the first place in our hearts, we are constantly fearing man.
The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe. Proverbs 29:25

Why or why do I always feel the need to be accepted by other people, to have then validate that I am a good person or a good mom or a good wife or pretty or anything else. Why is my self-esteem so low that I can't trust in God that I am ok, that I feel the need to consantaly look for it in other people. Why can't I listen to what he has to say?
I think because when God accepts me I don't get that instent and verbal, yes you are ok. When you ask another person, they tel lyou right then and there.

I need to focus on God's approval and accpetance. If I can do that, I can lose the weight and feel better about my self, and not slip off into depression so often!

Thought for the day - November 7

2007-11-07T15:22:00.000-05:00

Lord, I want everything I do to be glorifying to You. Help me to be a good steward of the body You have given me. I know that my body is the temple of Your Holy Spirit, who dwells in me. Help me to fully understand this truth so that I will keep my temple clean and healthy. Help me not to mistreat my body in any way. Teach me how to properly care for my health.

Such a moving prayer! Do we think about this? That our bodies, the ones we are filling with high fat, high cholestrol foods are not really ours, but gifts from God that we need to treat with care and respect? Will knowing this make a difference in what we do and how we treat our bodies? How about aking God to help teach us the proper care of our bodies? Will that encourage you to stick to a better, healthy diet of foods and not mistreat the gift God gave of this earthly body?

I wonder, but at the same time, I know that I need to trust in God and to ask for his help, because without him has gotten me into the problem I am in now. Without Him, I have ballooned my body to weights that is can;t handle, that make it hard for me to care for my kids, to play with my kids and that make me feel like less of a woman. If I look to Godfor the help I need, it has to be better than were I have gotten myself on my own!

What about you? Can you trust God with your own weight loss journey?

November 6 - Thought for the Day

2007-11-07T09:31:00.000-05:00

The motivation for what we do in the area of body care is very important. It will affect how succesful we are. If we eat right and engage in proper exercise for the purpose of being a more vital, healthy, energetic, and useful servant of the Lord, this has eternal consequences and you are more likely to stick with it.

Therefore, whether you eat or drink, ow whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31

Before, I had tried just about every diet on the market, every fad, anything to lose weight. When I started trusting in the Lord for help, and doing my devotionals I did better than on my own, but I am human, and the day-to-day struggles of life and kids got in the way, I let them push the devotionals and weight loss focus onto the back burner and here I am, back at the starting point. If I really want this to work, and I do, then I have to make time each morning to talk to God and focus on what he is asking of me and to ask for his help each and every day. I have to make time in my schedule to go walking or work out. It won't be easy, but then is anything worth doing ever easy?

Breakfast:
High Protein Soy Meal Replacement drink (made with 6 ozs of 2% milk), total calories 231.

Wake Up Weight:
252.5 pounds

Healing Thoughts

2007-11-05T14:00:00.000-05:00

November 2: No matter how hard we try to do the right thing, we can't always prevent bad things from happening in our body. We should do the best we can to take care of ourselves. but we wil lstill always need God to be our Healer.

November 3: Lord, I thank You that You are the Healer, I look to You for me healing whenever I am injured or sick. I pray that You would strengthen and heal me today. I know that in your presence is where I will find healing. In Your presence I can reach out and touch You and in turn be touched by You.

November 4: God wants us to live in balance and temperance and to take care not to abuse our body in any way. He wants us to glorify Him in thecare of our bodies because we are the temple of His Holy Spirit.
For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
2 Corinthians 5:1

November 5: Lord, only You know the way You created me. Give me a solid ability to be discplined about what I eat and drink and how I exercise. Enable me to discpline my body and bring it into subjection (1 Corinthians 9:27)

I think I need to print out todays thought and keep it on my mirror in the bathroom to remind me each morning to ask God for guidence and help in what I eat and drink that day, that will bethe only way i will be able to get my weight to where God wants me to be, because I know that he has a healthy place for me to be, it may not be the goal I set for myself, but I know that it is not where I am now.

November 2 Thought for the Day

2007-11-02T09:24:00.000-04:00

No matter how hard we try to do the right thing, we can't always prevent bad things from happening in our body. We should do the best we can to take care of ourselves, but we will still always need God to be our Healer.

You know, I read this and I am convicted, because as a mom, I don't take the time to look after myself as much as I should. I am busy making sure the kids have jackets, aren't coughing, see the doctor if they are and all that and then forget to grab a jacket for myself or just try to ignore a cough until it goes away.
We need to look after ourselves, and even moreso as moms, because we need to be there for the family. Not looking after ourselves leads to not eating right and weight gain. So it is important, if I realyl want to lose weight that I start taking better care of the body that God gave me.

New Program to Help

2007-10-26T09:57:00.000-04:00

Well, for a couple of weeks or longer, another gal at church and I have talked about getting some women together for a Bible study on Weight Loss and Body Image. It was something that was on her heart towards the body image side and on my heart on the weight loss side. So we spent some time looking and found something that we think will be nice and are going to try.

The program is called First Place, and it has weight loss componant, which I ordered but you can do the study without that if you want, and then a Bible Study componant, which the other gals are ordering. We are meeting on Sunday evenings while our kids are in youth group and doing the study and then walking.

I am looking forward to my books, and I will share my thoughts and feelings and what happens.

Friday October 5th - Starting Over

2007-10-05T08:32:00.000-04:00

Well....here it is, starting over. The beginning of my new attempt at this weight loss journey.

Good thing about blogs is that I can go ahead and post my morning thoughts and feelings and breakfast, and then later add to them after lunch and dinner, instead of having to wait and make one hugh post after the day is done. It makes it easier on me and more likely that I will continue to post and keep myself accountable for what I am eating and doing and feeling.

Breakfast:
1 12oz can of Diet Big Red (have to get my morning caffeine in, and I am not a coffee drinker)
1 6oz cup of mixed berry yogurt (Yoplait Light Thick and Creamy w/Splenda) - 100 calories
1 tsp flax seed -mixed into my yogurt

It's going to be a rough day. I have billing to get into the mail today at work, and then my middle child work up without a voice and coughing again this morning, so I called the dr's office and because of the type of cough she is having they want to see her, and the only appointment was at 11:30 (the dr is out all afternoon), so I have to take my lunch hour, run out to school, pick her up and take her to the dr....fun! Hoping this goes okay.

The weight on the ticker at the top of the blog has been corrected and shows where I am currently and where I want to get to, but the goal is so far ahead of me that I feel like I may never get there! It is one of the things that have probably made it hard for me, is that there is so much that I really do need to lose, but with three kids I want to be here for them and to see them grow and I know that this weight is not healthy for me. Which reminds me that I need to check in with the dr's office on me and see about my bloodwork. They did bloodwork on 9/18 and I haven't heard from them so I need to see what they thought and what I need to be doing in regards to that.

Thought for the Day, October 4th

2007-10-04T15:16:00.000-04:00

So many of us live with depression and accept it without even realizing it. The good news is that God doesn't want us to live with these feelings. He wants us to have the joy of the Lord rise in us and chase away spirits of heaviness. God wants us to cry out to Him so He can lift us out of depression.

Depart from me, all you workers if iniquity; for the lord has heard the voice of my weeping. The Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer.
Psalm 6:8-9

After posting that I wanted to get back into this, and my struggle with weight being tied to my depression and the cycle is causes, I flip my calander and find this is my thought for the day!
The Lord provides in the most mysterious ways!! Here I was just complaining about the depression only to be reminded that God is able and willing to make it all go away, IF I will turn to him. If I will lay it out into his hands, turn it over to him and let him have control he will take care of me and provide me a way out of the depression and the cycle that I am in!
Oh it is so much easier to say (write in this case) than to actually do. To turn it all over to God implies in this world that i am lacking, that I can't do for myself, I am not good enough...but that is not the case at all. God is my heavenly Father and he wants nothing more than to give me everything good and perfect if I will only follow Him and allow Him to lead me. If I really want to lose the weight and stop fighting the depression all I have to do is let Him have it, he can take care of it! Oh the relief to turn it over to God!!

Ending September

2007-10-04T14:58:00.000-04:00

How hard is this journey?

Well, seeing as I haven't really posted anything here since July, extermely hard!

My weight feeds my cycle of depression. I don't like the way I look, I try to diet, but progress is very slow or non-exsistant, so i get depressed and eat, which just makes me dislike the way I look more which leads me to a lower pit i nthe depression well, and on and on and on, the more depressed, the more I eat, the more I eat the more I dislike myself!

I am so tired of it! I am going to make another effort at it, and I am getting my dieting devotionals out again, and really reading and studying them, and this time i am going to be honest with myself and my family and friends about how much i really need to lose, and enlist their help and not try to do this on my own again. It doesn't work.

Life is hectic with three kids, between cub scouts, girl scouts and football we are running all the time, but i am putting this in the front for me, and so I hope to be here daily with thoughts and inspiration for you as well as for me! This blog is like my journal, and it will help to hold me accountable to what I do an don't do on this journey, at least that is they way I intend it to go.

Daily Thought for July 26

2007-07-27T10:17:00.000-04:00

We all want to accomplish something significant with our lives. And we have the potential to do something great. That's because we are the Lord's and His Spirit dwells in us. Because of His greatness in us, He can accomplish great things through us. When you know you are the Lord's and you trust where He is taking you, you feel very secure.

Daily Thought for July 23

2007-07-23T10:20:00.000-04:00

Predestination means your destination has already been determined. The Bible says we are predestined according to God's purposes and will (Ephesians 1:11). That means God know where you are supposed to be going. And He knows how to get you there.

The problem in that all too often we don't want to listen to God, and we end up taking detours! Our current culture teaches that we are to look out for number one, ourselves and only we can tell what is right for us...but are we really and truely happy in that world? If we would only listen to God and let Him lead us where we need to be going, we would find more fullfilment in our lives than we thought possible.

Daily Thought for July 22

2007-07-23T10:18:00.000-04:00

Lord, I thank You that You have called me with a holy calling, and I have a purpose because you have a plan for my life. I know that Your plan for me existed before I knew You, and You will bring it to pass.

Daily Thought for July 21

2007-07-23T10:17:00.000-04:00

God wants you to have a clear vision for your life. He wants to reveal to you what your gifts and talents are and show you how to best develop them and use them for His glory.

Daily Thought - July 11

2007-07-11T10:08:00.000-04:00

Holiness means living in the Spirit and not in the flesh. Pray that God will help you to live in the Spirit and not the flesh.

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.
-Romans 8:5

How true is this of those of us struggling with our weight? I know that when I focus on my faith and God and start my days with prayer, I feel better about myself and I don't crave the comfort of food the way I do on the days that I don't start with God.
You'd think that it would be easy to remember that and to make sureto start everyday with God, but it isn't. I'm human, and in that respect sinful, and I would rather sleep the extra 30 minutes than get up early and spend the time with God. I'm not alone! There are many of you out there that do the same thing.
Now the question....are you ready to change? I know that I am! I can't continue this way, because it hurts too much! I hate myself and the way I look, but there is no magic pill out there, it will take hard work and I have to do it for myself and my family!

Daily Thought for July 6

2007-07-06T10:03:00.000-04:00

Being holy is not being perfect. It's letting HIM who is holy be in you. We can't be holy on our own, but we can make choices that allow holiness and purity to be manifested in our lives.

Deprivation

2007-06-26T15:52:00.000-04:00

Bible Verse:
Happier were those pierced by the sword than those pierced by hunger, whose life drains away, deprived of th produce of the field.
-Lamentations 4:9

Devotional:
I was scarfing down a pizza as fast as i could. I'd been on three planes that day, without any lunch or dinner, and now, at almost ten o'clock, I was famished. My grandson watched me for a few minutes and said, chuckling, "Grandmother, you eat like a velociraptor."
"Hey, I'm hungry. I was deprived all day," I answered, pushing the last bite into my mouth. Of course, my idea of deprivation wouldn't stand up where people are really desperate for food. I'd eaten breakfast that morning, and each of the airlines had bestowed on me a package of pretzels.
I say I'm starving when i mean I want lunch, famished when dinner is an hour late, and deprived when I've had to skip a meal. Am i just being dramatic, or am I unconsciously scaring myself into overeating? Obviously, I need to revise my eating vocabulary. Otherwise I might turn into velociraptor.

For Further Reflection:
1. What words do you use to talk about being hungry?
I think I fall into the same trap as the author and so many other people. When I have skipped a meal, I am deprived or famished or starving. That is not true. I am nowhere near to starving, but I have trained my mind to think I am, that i HAVE to eat, and I have to eat now no matter what it is. Which leads me to make terrible food choices.
2. How can you change the way you talk about food?
First off, I need to elimate the word starving from my vocabulary. There is no need to use the word, since I am nowhere near starving. I eat everyday, usually two to three meals plus snacks. If i skip a meal, it will not hurt me in the least.
3. Besides food, what do you feel deprived of in your life?
Time with my husband, time with my kids, time for myself. Time, more than anything i feel deprived of time. There is never enough time to do all the things that I want to do, and when I really think about them all, I get depressed that so many things that i have wanted to do have been left undone. But if i would just step back, not expcet to do it all at once, and make a doable plan (like with my weightloss) i think I could accomplish alot of what i feel deprived about missing.

Prayer:
Jesus, when You were on the cross, You said simply, "I thirst". Help me to be less dramatic and more like You. Amen.

It's been awhile since I was able to make a post from my devotional, so much going on with gettign ready for Vacation Bible School and then the actual week of VBS.
On the upside, I did not gain any of the weight I have lost while I have been offline, but I haven't lost anything eihter, but still, i didn't gain it all back.

I joined Jazzercise today. They opened a new one not far from my house, and I actually enjoyed the women that were in the class this morning. I did my first class at 9am this morning. I started my summer hours at work, which means that I am off work on Tuesday now, which allows me to do the Tuesday morning class. They also have a number of classes in the eveings, and now that baseball and t-ball are over, I don;t think I will have trouble making the classes. Plus, my husband is pretty much behind me in the weight loss, so I am sure that he will help make it possible for me to attend.

I have been doing good on my water and my goals. I think I will update the goals again over the weekend, after adjusting them to show what I have accomplished, like drinking my water. I am getting alot better about that one each day, so I may need to up that one a little bit.

Thank you for reading and coming on this journey with me. I hope that we will begin to see more movement in that ticker on the top now that I have committed to the Jazzercise program!

Thought for the Day - June 25th

2007-06-25T09:01:00.001-04:00

Help me abide in You, Jesus, so that I will bear fruit in my life. I invite You, Holy Spirit, to fill me afresh with Your love today so that it will flow out of me and into the lives of others.

Daily Thought for June 22

2007-06-22T09:15:00.000-04:00

Lord, search my heart and try me and see if there is any wickedness in me. Replace all that is wrong in my character with the goodness in Yours. Plant the fruit of Your Spirit in me and cause it to flourish.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, lonsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
-Galatians 5:22-23

Daily Thought for June 20th

2007-06-21T10:03:00.000-04:00

All of us are planting something in our lives every single day, whether we realize it our not. And we are also reaping whatever we have planted in the past. The quality of our lives right now is the result of what we planted and harvested some time before.

Vacation Bible School

2007-06-20T13:38:00.000-04:00

On hiatus with my blogging for the week of June 18-22.

I am co-directing VBS at our church, St Paul UMC http://www.stpaulbloomington.org for the week, so I will be there each evening from 6 - 8:30 pm, and before and after gettign everything ready!

Will check back in after VBS is over!!

Thought for the Day - June 6th

2007-06-06T09:32:00.000-04:00

Praising and worshiping God with other believers is one of the most powerfully significant things we can do in our lives. Corporate worship causes bondages to be broken, and it makes the way for wonderful changes in us that might never happen otherwise.

The Wind's Song

2007-06-04T13:18:00.000-04:00

Bible Verse: In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters.
-Genesis 1: 1-2

Devotional:
I grew up in am Arizona mining town bordered on the east by Apache Leap, a rnge of pink granite pinnacles that lifted into the sky like a rosy crown. And in the wintertime, those mountains sang. Cold air snaked between those pink pinnacles, and when it emerged, the wind sang like a pipe organ.
I've been satisfying my mouth and stomach recently, but remembering that mountain music, I realize the rest of my senses are hungry. This evening, instead of sinking in front of the television with a plate full of cookies, I think I'll feast my eyes and ears and heart. I'll sit on the porch and listen for the song God gives the wind as it dances through the tall fir trees behind my house.

For Further Reflection:
Today, find some beauty in the world around you, and take time to relish that instead of too much food.

Prayer:
O God, You have made creation beautiful. Teach me how to see, hear, and taste it, and to appreciate it's fragance. Amen.

Happy Blogtipping Day

2007-06-01T09:30:00.000-04:00

The first of every month is Blog Tipping Day. i heard about this on another Blog last month. What you do is, on Blog Tipping day you give a tip to three blogs of your choice on your own blog, but without telling the owner before hand, then on Blog tipping day, you leave them a comment on their blog that you have tipped them. It was alot of fun last month, so i thought I would do it again this month.

This month I choose three blogs that I found inspirational for this blog, since this is my journey, I thought these journeys might be nice to visit too.

1. http://www.edjoanupdates.blogspot.com

2. http://mswheelchairmass2007.blogspot.com

3. http://1stepcloser2im.blogspot.com

I hope you enjoy today's blog and that you enjoy these other blogs, and that you will think about joining in next month for Blog Tipping Day.

Nurturing

2007-05-31T07:49:00.000-04:00

Bible Verse: He will feed his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms, and carry them in his bosom, and gently lead the mother sheep.
-Isisah 40:11

Devotional: The hardest thing for me to believe is that God cares for me, loves me like an only child. I keep thinking I have to earn God's approval, or live a sinless life. No matter how well I understand God's grace with my intellect, deep within me is the feeling that love and grace are for others, not me.
I don't know why I feel this way, I had a happy childhood with affectionate parents, but the little girl inside me believes she doesn't measure up. And that little girls eats to feel better.
I'm going to tell God about that little girl, and ask Him to nurture her the way mothers care for their children. And then maybe I can find something besides food to make me happy.

For Further Reflection:
1. Do you really believe God loves and cares for you?
I try very hard to believe this, because the Bible says so, but I am plagued by doubts that I am worthy or that I have done too many things against God's will in my life that he could never forgive me all of them.
2. Are you eating so you'll feel better about yourself?
I think I eat to numb the pain I feel about myself. I eat so I don't feel bad about failing at something, only to turn around and feel guilty for eating, so I eat more to numb the guilty feelings. It's a terrible circle that I have to break!
3. Are you willing to tell God how you feel?
YES! I can't break the circle unless I am honest with myself and although God already knows what I am feeling, he wants me to speak it to him, because unless I speak it to Him, He can't help me with it. I have to ask first. And asking is what I am doing, each and every day, to help me with my temptations to eat when I am not hungry, to eat to dull the pain of failing or to rejoice in the success, to eat because I feel guilty. So far, each day is a brand new reward.

Prayer:
Dear Lord, the Bible and the Church say that You love me. Teach me to be satisfied with Your love instead of food. Amen.

Goals Update:
I wanted to put this brief update after my devotional, because these devotionals are really what has been keeping me in this. To daily read these, then later to share them here and to share my thoughts and answers to the questions, and to share them with some diet buddies...really keeps them in them forefront of my mind and allows me to actaully be able to do these goal updates.

Water: I am making 64 or more ounces a day every day this week.
Weight: I am currently down a total of 4.5 pounds after two weeks, and that is above my goal of 2 pounds a week!
Monthly Weight: My goal is to be down 10 pounds by 6-25, I am on pace to make that mark later this week! I am so excited!!!

Challenge:
I am involved in a forum, the biggestloserclub.com and we are having a June Challenge that runs for three weeks. It starts tomorrow, so tomorrow night, after the day is done. I will be updating my challenge notes for the day. I will copy and explain the challenge more tomorrow, but for now I have to get off to work!!

Goals Updated 5-25-07

2007-05-25T10:10:00.000-04:00

Well....I am updateing my goals.

1. Drink 64 ounces of water.
Well I have managed to get in 101 ounces on Tuesday, 67 ounces on Wednesday and 67 ounces on Thursday. I am currently at 33 ounces for today.
I have met the goal for these few days. Now I will revise the goal to read
1. Drink 64 ounces or more of water five days out of seven in the week.

2. Lose TWO pounds per week.
I weighed in today at 254.5, which is 2.5 pounds down from my actual starting weight of 257. So I met my goal for this week. Revising the goal to say EACH week.

Adding a new goal, about my McDonald's stops....I will not try to cut them out altogether, that would be just too much, but I will make better choices when I do stop and I will limit myself to two stops per week. That is attainable.

i am feeling good this morning!
Thanks for coming on this journey with me.

Guilty Eating

2007-05-24T13:11:00.000-04:00

Bible Verse:
But if you refrain from vowing, you will not incur guilt.
-Deuteronomy 23:22

Devotional:
Just about every night I tell myself and God that the next day, I won't nibble between meals or eat the wrong things. But sometime during that next afternoon my hunger-light goes on and I start sneaking crackers with peanut butter, or cookies, or slices of cheese that get bigger each time.
When i say "sneaking" I don't mean I'm hiding from anyone. Nobody's there to see what I do. But I eat with a stealthy, huilty attitude because of my vow the previous evening. And the guiltier I feel, the more inclined I am to keep eating. For comfort's sake.
I fail at a lot of little pledges: This weekend I'll clean out all the closets; tomorrow I'll begin studying a foreign language; next week I'll start scrimping and saving for a trip to France....
The Bible says if you don't vow, you don't sin by failing. I think I set so many lofty goals for myself that i can't function when it comes to small ones, like taking my vitamins every day or skipping those afternoon snacks. I've got to sort out attainable goals and then take the first step toward them.

For further reflection:
1. Do you constantly promise yourself that you'll do the unrealistic?
Yes! Everyday. No snacks today; I will clean the house from top to bottom in a manner that would make my grandma proud; I won't spend a dime today; I will pray contiuneously today...I make so may and I fail at every one of them, that I no longer believe that I can attain ANY goal that I set for myself! I have to change that thinking!
2. Is one of those vows connected to eating?
Only one? Just about every one of them is connected to eating in some manner or the other. What else is new? I am always making a vow about food, always!
3. Would it help you to live "vow free"?
I'm not sure what that would mean. I need to be able to set a realastic goal, and work towards it, but ism't settign a goal a vow to make it to that goal. i mean I guess I set the goal and then work towards it, just not laying in bed at night so disgusted with myself for eating that day that i yell out to God..."I promisse you I will not eat tomorrow"...Ummmm, now that I have my head around this yes, it would feel so much better not to feel guilt if I mis-stepped, but knowing that I can still reach my goal in spite of the mis-steps.

Prayer:
Lord Jesus, You came to take away our quilt. Help me to stop vowing the unrealistic so i won't always feel like I'm falling short. Amen.

No more vows or promises to do anything. I will set goals, attainable goals and then move forward to them, once reached, I will set new goals! Small steps.

My Goals:
1. To increase my water intake. -done! I drank six 1/2 liter bottles on Tuesday, four on Wednesday and I have had two so far today. Each and every day has been more than I usually drink, since before I would drink diet soda all day and no water. Since I have met this goal, I need to revise it into number 2.
2. To drink at least 64 ounces of water each day.
3. To limit myself to ONE diet soda per day.
4. To go for a walk at least TWICE a week.
5. To lose at least TWO pounds each week. -this is a healthy, realistic goal. If it's more than that it is okay, but I am not going to push myself to try to lose more.
6. To lose TEN pounds by 6-25-07.

I am going to take it small. i know my overall goal is over 100 pounds to lose, but if I take it in 10 pound steps, I can reach it. It looks easier in writing and I won't feel so overwhelmed by the total number. Now I have my first set of goals in writing! I can't ignore them, because they are written here for me and everyone to see.

2007-05-24T13:08:00.000-04:00

Had a message from someone who read the blog and wanted to know about subscribing to get the updates as I do them.

At the bottom of the blog, just before the link to other blogs is a subscribe link, says Subscribe to: Posts (atom) Click on that and it will subscribe you to get updates, at least as far as i can tell it is working! If it doesn't, please let me know!!

Is "Diet" Dirty Word?

2007-05-23T13:33:00.000-04:00

Some trust in chariots and some trust in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. -Psalm 20:7

You might read the verse above: Some trust in diets, some trust in calorie counting, but I trust in God's plan.
Many experts say that diets empower food, not people, because they're based on deprivation. And when we deprive ourselves of food we want, desperation takes over in time. We blow it. This is why the majority of books on wieght control spend the first chapter declaring, "This is not a diet book!" (even is they use diet in the title).
To those who have failed with diets repeatedly, Gwen Shamblin writes in The Weigh Down Diet, "God has never asked anyone to eat food off a list, to count fat exchanges, or to take an appetite suppressant. You have just been applying the wrong medicine to this condition."
This isn't to say that all diets or weight-loss programs are bad. God can and does work in conjunction with these. What matters is that He is central to our plan. For the purpose of this, let's redefine the word "diet" to mean:
- a Decision to change the way i eat and the way i approach food
- an Invitation to experience God's power and guidance
- an Educated plan for long-term health and happiness
- a Trust that God will never give up on me or love me less - no matter what.

Food for Thought: " Diet " doesn't have to mean deprivation.

A Prayer for Power:
Dear God, I admit that I have come to both love and hate the word diet. On the one hand, it represents hope for change. On the other hand, it's like a sign flashing "Failure ahead!" I don't want to simply embark on another faulty plan, Lord. I want to embark on a journey with You that is led by You and depends on Your power. I can do nothing on my own! And I don;t want to just punish and deprive myself. You and i both know where that leads: to rebellion and failure. Show me the right path that will enable me to change. Show me, as only You, who know me os intimately, can, what works for me, what is healthy for me. I want to think of this venture in positive terms, Lord - not that i am siging up to be miserable or in want. I want to learn to redirect my thinking, to feed my body waht it truly needs when it needs it. And to feed my sould wit the Bread of Life - You! Today I place my suture, my failures, my setbacks, all of my hopes and plans into Your hands. There alone will I find meaning and true success in my life. Amen.

As the tears stream down my face...all I can think is this is exactly how I have felt for a long time. I don't want to fail, I want to do this the right way. This is my prayer, my hope and my dreams....to lose the wieght in a healthy, long-term way with the help of God.
Thank you!!!

A Different Kind of Hunger

2007-05-23T13:03:00.000-04:00

Bible Verse : Let them thank the Lord. For he satidfies the thirsty, and the hungry he fills with good things. - Psalm 107:8,9

Devotional:
Recently I saw Norman Rockwell's painting Freedom from Want. It reminded me tht the world is full of people starving for all kinds of things.

I'm starving for something I've thought was unreachable. i try to satisfy my inner longings with food when what i really want is love, or appreciation, or independence, or maybe even fame. And I don't know how to get those things. I'm not even sure howto pray for them.

But today, with God's help, I'm going to make one move toward one of my desires: I'll start to write that poem, or tell someone I need them, or make the phone call that will start me toward my goal. And if tomorrow I eat instead, I won't hate myself; I'll just pray again and try once more to achieve freedom from want.

For further reflection: Write down some of the things you long for, and decide what small move you can make toward achieving one of them. When you make that move, check that item off and decide on another. Keep this list current.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, help me to identfy what I really want, and tech me how to reach for it. Amen.

This is so true! I want so much, but I fail to try for them because I am afraid to fail, and right now I can hide behind my weight as the reason I don't try, but if I lose the weight then if I fail it is all on me not the weight. I want to be happy, I want to like myself, I want to be fully loved, I want to go out with friends, and not feel like they are watching what I eat, or are embarrased to be seen with me. i want to go out with my husband and not feel like people are thinking what is he doing with the fat chick. I want to have the engery to play with my kids, I want to be an example to them, I don;t want them teased because they have a fat mom. I want, I want.....I want to like myslef! Just once I want to be happy with me, who I am right now....I have to do this! I am NEVER going to be happy or feel good about myself at this weight, and who says I'll fail if I lose the weight...I might just be a better mom, wife, housekeeper, friends etc when I lose the weight.
I was made in God's imagine, I am perfect and I can be the person he wants me to be, but only with his help! Am I ready to give him the control and try???
YES! I want him to help me to reach the place that he wants me to be and to use me to his glory!

Goals

2007-05-22T11:40:00.000-04:00

We have to have goals, right....and so I was thinking.

My goal for this week...to wean myself off of soda, diet soda in particular. I need to be drinking more water anyway.

So this morning, I got up and drank a bottle of Nestle Pur Life water in the Orange Splash flavor. Once at work I had a bottle of the same in plain, no flavor, and since then I have had another bottle.

So far that makes my water intake today 1.5 liters....

It's a good start! Now I just have to figure out how many liters, since that is the measurement on the bottles we have here at work are in, I need to comsume in a day...

How to make the changes

2007-05-17T14:38:00.000-04:00

You don't have to make the change all at once.
I love it when people wake up one day and say, "That's it. No sugar, pasta, bread, alcohol. I'm going to work out 18 hours a week, and no more fun." I wonder if it occurs to them that this approach may be one of the reasons they don't make it to the second week. Granted, for a small percentage of individuals out there, this works. However, for the rest of us flesh and blood humans, change is difficult. I don;t know about you all, but when I make these radical changes I can't keep them up. So what is the way to do it?
How about we approach the change with a slow and steady strategy?
1.Write down what changes you want to make in your day-to-day lifestyle.
2.Make a list of foods that you can't live without and foods that you are willing to give up.
3.Figure out what forms of exercise are attractive to you, that you relate to, and that you can see yourself participating in on a regular basis.
4. Create some goals.
--lose weight
--have more energy
--exercise 3-4 times a week
--go out and do something fun just for you once a week
--read more
--laugh with your family
--be more spontaneous
--take that risk you have been contemplating
OK, you get my point. These are just ideas, but make it your own list.
This I can handle. I need a journal, okay will this blog work, to write it all down, to make notes and to challenge myself daily to be accountable to what I have done today and what I should be doing.
After you've written all of this information down, start to create your strategy. If you can't live without pasta, then start slow. Don't go cold turkey but try to eat it less often. If you eat it three times a week, then make a vow to only eat it once. You could even begin by "substituting" healthier alternatives (e.g., rice pasta). If you can't live without five diet sodas a day, switch to an unsweetened tea and only have one soda a day.
Are you sedentary right now? Well don't start hitting the gym 5 days a week and kill yourself. Begin with walking and doing little things at home with light weights, and then start heading to the gym. Start by taking a few classes and lifting 2 times a week. You don't need to begin by going 2 hours a day -- start with 30 minutes.
How does that sound? I know you can make the changes. Just have a real plan to support you while going through the process. I like the idea of keeping a journal and writing it all down.
If you are up for it, you could even create a calendar to keep track of all of the changes --what activities you're doing, what foods you are or aren't eating. This way, the change will not only become obvious in you, but you'll be able to track how far you've come. I really think this can work. I think I can do it this time around, with the support, small steps and God's help I am going to make it, once and for all I am going to have a healthy lifestyle.
I found the advice in red on a website, and now I can't find it again! UGH! Don;t you hate that, but I had copied it so that I could print it out and work on it at home, and then I realized that i needed to add it here, so you all will understand the small goals and where it all comes from and the process behind the whole thing, because if you don't understand the process then how is it going to encourage anyone!

The Trojan Horse

2007-05-17T10:38:00.000-04:00

To help me along this weight loss journey, I am reading a book called "Devotions for Nibblers" by Kristen Johnson Ingram which I was able to purchase through Crossings Book Club, http://www.crossings.com

This weight loss thing is something I can not do alone, I have tried for years! I have to have help, and turning it over to God is something that I know will work, it's just going to be a long journey, because it will be the right way, the healthy way...not starving to lose 10 pounds only to gain them back when I start eating again.

Yesterday's devotion was titled "Trojan Horse" and the bible verse was from Proverbs, chapet 19 and verse 6.....Many seek the favor of the generous, and everyone is a friend to a giver of gifts.

Devotional: The ancient Greeks rolled a huge horse up to the gates of Troy as a symbol of defeat. You've beaten us, the gesture said, and we're offering you this wonderful horse to show we honor your gods. Then the Greeks hit. When the Trojans brought the gift inside the city walls, they discovered too late that it was full of Greek warriors. The City was destroyed.
Every day I get a different offer i nthe mail: free coffee beans, a free vacation. But jus about every one of these "gifts" is a Trojan Horse. In fine print, I discover that I have to keep ordering coffee, or promise to drive to a remot location (at my own expense), then spend much of the "vacation" listening with a crowd of other travelers to time-share pitches.
Television ads keep offering me the gift of easy weight loss: I don;t have to exercise and can eat all my favorite foods while the pounds melt away. And inside this enticing Trojan Horse are expensive (and usually worthless) products or dangerous herbs and drugs that could shoot my blood pressure sky high. There ain't no free horse.

For Futher Reflections:
1. Are you looking for an easy solution to your overeating problems? Aren't we all? Don't we lead such busy lives that we can't take the time to exercise of fix a healthy meal, we eat on the run between ball games, dance recitial and a million other tasks that have to be done. But where is that getting us? There are no easy solutions, everything in life worth having requires work and effort on my part, so why would weight loss be any different.
2. Do you find yourself being gullible about free offers? Yes, I have in the past, and I have gotten burned on some many of those book clubs, that I feel I no longer believe them. Although I still find myself checking out things that say they are free only to find a huge shipping charge or some other requirement that I am not willing to committ to.
3. Are you willing to stop nibbling the harder way? YES! I have committed myself to this wieght loss, I have turned over the this I can not control to God, and I am depending on Him each and every day to get me through to the next day and to accomplish the small victories needed to get me to the finish line!

Prayer:
Dear Lord, You've shown me that the only free gift is Your grace. Keep me alert to falsehood. Amen.

I am sharing my devotional, and my answers with you to help keep me on track, holding myself accountable for everything I do, and in the process I hope that I am able to encourage just one person on their own personal weight loss journey!

Happy Birthday

2007-05-16T10:14:00.000-04:00

Well....last week was my birthday, and it was one of those "9" ones, so I thought that I needed so reflection and goals and a plan of action before that next one that ends in a ZERO.
My weight has always been a struggle for me. I have never been thin, I was always "big boned" as I used to be called, and after having three kids, it has only gotten worse, to the point where I feel that I can't go on this way, so I have started really working on it with a friend as my moral support and guidance. But at the same time, I need to be able to vent, to write out the feelings and deal with the reasons behind why I ate in the first place. I already had this blog, "Notes from a TAMM creation" and I thought about here, but I am not sure. I was thinking of this being for family and a little business, but at the same time I can't grow my business if I don't take care of myself, and my weight is a big issue that I need to take care of for me to be able to have the engery and desire to grow the business. So for now, at least, I am going to post on here about the journey. I may well move the whole weight loss topic somewhere else, but I'll start here. Well, after thinking about it...I decided that it needed it's own space, so "My Weight Loss Journey" was born and will be about the weight loss.

Daily Calander thought for today: comes from a daily calander called "The Power of a Praying Woman".....Your relationship with the Lord must always have top priority over everything else. The Lord said, "You shall have no other gods before Me" (Exdous 20:3), and He means it. God wants your undivided attention.

Well, this is relevant to me in a big way today, because alot of times I put food before God. I eat when I am sad, when I am happy, when I am depressed or not feeling quite right...I used (and do use, but am working on that) food to cover a variety of emotions. I turn to food when I find myself in need instead of turning to God. How am I going to concore this? I don't know. Alot of prayer and support for starters, but it is going to be a long journey with ups and downs and yet I have to make a start